So GWB gave a press conference after the Dems took ownership of the House (and while the Senate, which would go Dem the following day, was still up in the air), eh? Well, it’s still a couple of months or so until SOTU 2007, soooo…okay! (I’m not going to do the entire thing.)

I say, why all the glum faces?

I’m guessing this was a lame attempt at humour. Or maybe the reporters there were feeling a little sorry for Dubya. After all, he was losing the Republican/conservative monopoly on the government.

Yesterday, the people went to the polls and they cast their vote for a new direction in the House of Representatives.

Because the current direction, of course, sucked. Not to mention there were all sorts of nasty potholes and stuff; and, really, who likes potholes?

And while the ballots are still being counted in the Senate, it is clear the Democrat Party had a good night last night, and I congratulate them on their victories.

Translation: You may have taken 1/3 of the government back; but your road during the next two years isn’t going to be an easy one, I tell ya!

I’m obviously disappointed with the outcome of the election,

Duh. Like I said, no more Republican/conservative monopoly!

and as the head of the Republican Party, I share a large part of the responsibility.

Care to elaborate? (Cue crickets.) I suppose not.

I told my party’s leaders that it is now our duty to put the elections behind us and work together with the Democrats and independents on the great issues facing this country.

Translation: …as long as they don’t include throwing out the torture bill, restoring habeas corpus, and bringing the troops home from Iraq. (More on the third one later.)

I told Congresswoman Pelosi that I look forward to working with her and her colleagues to find common ground in the next two years.

Common, of course, being conservative, right? ;)

As the majority party in the House of Representatives, they recognize that in their new role they now have greater responsibilities.

Like they didn’t know that before?

And in my first act of bipartisan outreach since the election, I shared with her the names of some Republican interior decorators who can help her pick out the new drapes in her new offices. (Laughter.)

Tsk. Tsk. Not funny. But then, I heard the first thing he did when he moved in to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was get Laura Bush to get on with some redesigning. Still, though: Don’t you think the woman has more important things to think about besides whether or not she wants calico drapes?

The message yesterday was clear: The American people want their leaders in Washington to set aside partisan differences, conduct ourselves in an ethical manner, and work together to address the challenges facing our nation.

I thought the message was: 1) The way you’re handling Iraq sucks; 2) The way Katrina was handled sucked; 3) We’re sick of the governmental monopoly we’ve had for the last several years.

Okay, yeah, that whole corruption thing does factor in, too.

I know there’s a lot of speculation on what the election means for the battle we’re waging in Iraq. I recognize that many Americans voted last night to register their displeasure with the lack of progress being made there. Yet I also believe most Americans and leaders here in Washington from both political parties understand we cannot accept defeat.

So what does success look like? In my view, it means getting a plan together to get the troops home within a year and turn Iraq over to the UN. That would be a success.

The election has changed many things in Washington, but it has not changed my fundamental responsibility, and that is to protect the American people from attack. As the Commander-in-Chief, I take these responsibilities seriously. And so does the man who served this nation honorably for almost six years as our Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld. Now, after a series of thoughtful conversations, Secretary Rumsfeld and I agreed that the timing is right for new leadership at the Pentagon.

Translation: I fired his sorry arse–something I should’ve done two years ago after that whole Abu Ghraib scandal.

I’ve asked Bob Gates to serve as the Secretary of Defense. Bob is a former director of the CIA and current president of Texas A&M University. If confirmed by the Senate, Bob will bring more than 25 years of national security experience and a stellar reputation as an effective leader with sound judgment. He’s served six Presidents from both political parties, and rose from an entry-level employee in the CIA to become the Director of Central Intelligence. During his service at the CIA and at the National Security Council, Bob Gates gained firsthand knowledge that will help him meet the challenges and opportunities our country faces during the next two years. He is serving as a member of the Baker-Hamilton Commission. He’s a steady, solid leader who can help make the necessary adjustments in our approach to meet our current challenges.

Oh yeah, he also brings that whole stigma of the Iran-Contra days. Oooooh, baby! But hey, Daddy Bush approved of him, so he must be kosher, right? (Notice sarcasm.)

Q Thank you, Mr. President. Last week you told us that Secretary Rumsfeld will be staying on. Why is the timing right now for this, and how much does it have to do with the election results?

THE PRESIDENT: Right. No, you and Hunt and Keil came in the Oval Office, and Hunt asked me the question one week before the campaign, and basically it was, are you going to do something about Rumsfeld and the Vice President? And my answer was, they’re going to stay on. And the reason why is I didn’t want to inject a major decision about this war in the final days of a campaign. And so the only way to answer that question and to get you on to another question was to give you that answer.

And there is George Walker Bush doing something he’s not done before: Admitting he lied about something. Now, if only he’d come clean about everything else…

Q Thank you, Mr. President. You said you’re interested in changing the tone, and committed to changing the tone in Washington. Just a few days before this election, in Texas, you said that Democrats, no matter how they put it, their approach to Iraq comes down to terrorists win, America loses. What has changed today, number one? Number two, is this administration prepared to deal with the level of oversight and investigation that is possibly going to come from one chamber or two in Congress?

THE PRESIDENT: What’s changed today is the election is over, and the Democrats won. And now we’re going to work together for two years to accomplish big objectives for the country. And secondly, the Democrats are going to have to make up their mind about how they’re going to conduct their affairs. And I haven’t had a chance to talk with the leadership yet about these issues, but we’ll begin consultations with the Democrat leadership starting Thursday and Friday.

(Emphasis mine.)

Of course, this time, the Bush doesn’t say that was a bold-faced lie.

Answering another question about Iraq…

…I understand people don’t agree — didn’t agree with some of my decisions. I’m going to continue making decisions based upon what I think is right for the country. I’ve never been one to try to fashion the principles I believe or the decisions I make based upon trying to — kind of short-term popularity. I do understand where the people — the heart of the people. I understand they’re frustrated. I am, too, as I said the other day. I wish this had gone faster. So does Secretary Rumsfeld. But the reality is, is that it’s a tough fight, and we’re going to win the fight. And I truly believe the only way we won’t win is if we leave before the job is done.

IMO, we’re not going to win unless we GET OUT! I mean, really. Violence is on the rise there, over 2800 US soldiers are dead, along with thousands upon thousands of innocent Iraqis (around 50k if you believe iraqbodycount.net, closer to 655k if you believe the report that came out last month).

Q Thank you, sir. During this campaign season some religious conservatives expressed support and appreciation for the work you’ve done. But some also expressed that they felt like they expended a lot of effort on your behalf without a lot of results. I wonder if you could tell us what parts of their agenda are still on your radar screen, and if you think they’re right to be frustrated? And also, Mr. President, may I ask you if you have any metrics you’d be willing to share about your reading contest with Mr. Rove.

AUDIENCE: Oooooh!

Methinks el Presidente has some claws.

I think that’s enough for now. You can read the rest of it for yourself. ;)