Full text here.

As usual, I didn’t watch; and I won’t be riffing on the entire speech. ;) Anyway! Here goes…

In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate.

Really? I didn’t know that! (said with loads of sarcasm)

But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of goodwill and respect for one another — and I will do my part.

Uh-huh.

Tonight the state of our Union is strong –

So what exactly was the DIC…errr, I mean the CIC smoking before he came out?

and together we will make it stronger.

How?

In this decisive year, you and I will make choices that determine both the future and the character of our country.

Speak plainly, George–may I call you George? Anyway. Just tell us there’s an election coming up in November. Short, sweet, to the point.

We will choose to act confidently in pursuing the enemies of freedom –

And where is Osama Bin Laden again? I think someone mentioned a 7-Eleven somewhere, but I don’t remember where exactly.

or retreat from our duties in the hope of an easier life.

Again, speak plainly! Should the troops in Iraq keep occupying the joint or should they get the blank outta there?

We will choose to build our prosperity by leading the world economy — or shut ourselves off from trade and opportunity.

You, pretty much, have already shut off this country from opportunity. And as for the economy? What’s the national debt up to again? Yeah. I thought so.

In a complex and challenging time, the road of isolationism and protectionism may seem broad and inviting — yet it ends in danger and decline.

And since the US is alread isolated (for all intents and purposes), we’re halfway to the danger zone already! Woohoo! (More sarcasm.)

The only way to protect our people, the only way to secure the peace, the only way to control our destiny is by our leadership — so the United States of America will continue to lead.

Lead whom or what? The monsters that come out of little kids’ closets every night circa 10 pm? ;) The dead people? And where exactly is the USA going to lead all these unknown people or things? To Antarctica? Narnia? Middle Earth? The underground stores in Montreal and Toronto?

Okay, moving on.

Abroad, our nation is committed to an historic, long-term goal — we seek the end of tyranny in our world.

Translation: We’re still the unofficial world police.

Some dismiss that goal as misguided idealism.

Or as, you know, butting in where we don’t belong.

In reality, the future security of America depends on it.

Okay, who’s threatening us now?

On September the 11th, 2001,

I’m surprised references to the above date aren’t part of the drinking game. Personally, I think any mention of the above date would require a shot of something hard.

we found that problems originating in a failed and oppressive state 7,000 miles away could bring murder and destruction to our country.

Is Afghanistan 7,000 miles away? (Just checking.)

Dictatorships shelter terrorists, and feed resentment and radicalism, and seek weapons of mass destruction. Democracies replace resentment with hope, respect the rights of their citizens and their neighbors, and join the fight against terror.

Has the US…
* sheltered terrorists? Check! (Some of the terrorists supposedly stayed in a motel in the state in which I live!)
* fed resentment and radicalism? Check! (Radical right-wing militia groups, anyone?)
* sought WMD? Massive check! We’ve got more than anyone else!

But the US isn’t a dictatorship! It’s, pretty much, a democratic republic. So does the US…

* replace resentment with hope? Depends on who you ask.
* respect the rights of its citizens and neighbours? Again, depends on who you ask.
* join the fight against terror? This country STARTED the fight against terror! But, originally, there was an “-ism” attached to “terror”. What happened to the “-ism”, anyway?

Every step toward freedom in the world makes our country safer — so we will act boldly in freedom’s cause.

…by continuing to occupy a country we had no business being in in the first place? Now, don’t get me wrong. Regardless of who you ask–whether they were for the war or not–most people, if not everyone, will tell you it was a good thing Sadaam Hussein got caught; and I bet some find his diva antics in court hilarious. But at the same time? Iraq had squat to do with what happened here over four years ago; and the former government had absolutely no legitimate ties to Al-Qaeda. Oh yeah, where’s OBL again? He’s the greeter guy at some Wal-Mart in the midwest, right? ;)

A little later, in SOTU…

[Al-Qaeda's] aim is to seize power in Iraq, and use it as a safe haven to launch attacks against America and the world.

Here’s a little hint: the US hasn’t been attacked in over four years. The last place Al-Qaeda was thought to have struck was Madrid…and that was, what, two years or so ago now?

Lacking the military strength to challenge us directly, the terrorists have chosen the weapon of fear.

Isn’t that what your administration is using against your fellow citizens? And isn’t that what the media in general–especially in the US–like to use all the time?

When they murder children at a school in Beslan, or blow up commuters in London, or behead a bound captive, the terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the violent to inherit the Earth.

So what happened when our own military tortured prisoners–many of whom were incarcerated without charge? Or what are they doing now after the deaths of 22,000+ innocent civilians? What did that accomplish?

But they have miscalculated: We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it.

…and continue to prove that violence begats violence.

In a time of testing, we cannot find security by abandoning our commitments and retreating within our borders. If we were to leave these vicious attackers alone, they would not leave us alone. They would simply move the battlefield to our own shores.

They were already on our own shores once! And when they were here, you knew they were here; but yet, nothing was done about it. And, if you really think about it some, nothing still hasn’t been done about it.

There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat.

You’re part-way there. There is peace in retreat. It just doesn’t last.

By allowing radical Islam to work its will — by leaving an assaulted world to fend for itself — we would signal to all that we no longer believe in our own ideals, or even in our own courage.

How many times do I have to tell you: Speak plainly! “If we get our troops out of Iraq now, it would totally suck over there.” It already totally sucks there, even with a “government” installed. Some think they’re already headed toward a civil war.

But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil.

I think for SOTU 2007, if GWB says something akin to the above, everyone watching should stand up, yell “Bring ‘em on!” with a southern accent (if they don’t have one), and drink either a Budweiser or any other US beer that isn’t Samuel Adams.

America rejects the false comfort of isolationism. We are the nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire.

Mmmm…bragging. But! A certain European nation–one that your pal Rummy would deem as part of “Old Europe” (if he’s still into that sort of thing, that is)–is the one that helped US get away from the rulership of a tyrant. Coincidentally, said tyrant’s first name? George.

Once again, we accept the call of history to deliver the oppressed and move this world toward peace. We remain on the offensive against terror networks. We have killed or captured many of their leaders — and for the others, their day will come.

Meanwhile, Osama will be at your nearest McDonald’s asking people if they want fries with their Big Macs. ;)

Anyway, I’m gonna skip a lot of the next part…which gets into Iraq and Afghanistan, the rebuilding of the former, etc. Oh, in one part he welcomes a deceased soldier’s wife and their family. Interesting; the family gets invited to watch SOTU live and in person, but he’ll never attend their funerals. Hrm. Then he gets more into “democratic reform”. Down to the more interesting tidbits…

The Palestinian people have voted in elections. And now the leaders of Hamas must recognize Israel, disarm, reject terrorism, and work for lasting peace.

But of course, Hamas loathes Israel, is totally armed, has a weird thing for terrorism, and–last but not least–incites a lot of acts of terrorism. So either someone needs a smack in the head, or–to use a TWoP reference used for The Amazing Race–God will have to get out of the tub and make some stuff happen. *nod*

Saudi Arabia has taken the first steps of reform — now it can offer its people a better future by pressing forward with those efforts.

Okay; when exactly did this happen? And aren’t you and your fam tight with the Saudi royals?

Democracies in the Middle East will not look like our own, because they will reflect the traditions of their own citizens.

Oh, really?

Yet liberty is the future of every nation in the Middle East, because liberty is the right and hope of all humanity.

And you gained this insight how, exactly?

Then, he addresses Iran–a country that really does have weapons, that really is repressed, and whatnot. One of the few good parts of SOTU. (The first good part was at the intro, when he payed respect to the late Coretta Scott King (see my previous blog post).) Next part involves US humanitarian efforts abroad. After that…

Our country must also remain on the offensive against terrorism here at home. The enemy has not lost the desire or capability to attack us. Fortunately, this nation has superb professionals in law enforcement, intelligence, the military, and homeland security. These men and women are dedicating their lives, protecting us all, and they deserve our support and our thanks.

Uh-huh.

They also deserve the same tools they already use to fight drug trafficking and organized crime — so I ask you to reauthorize the Patriot Act.

NO! Don’t do it. The better thing to do, still, would be to gut it and re-write it, so the civil liberties of your average, law-abiding citizen remain in tact. Violating the Constitutional rights of average, law-abiding citizens isn’t going to do anything.

After that, he makes some sort of attempt to justify the wire-tapping…even though doing so without someone’s knowledge or consent is illegal and unconstitutional.

Finally! We get to the domestic stuff. Economy first…

Our economy is healthy and vigorous, and growing faster than other major industrialized nations. In the last two-and-a-half years, America has created 4.6 million new jobs — more than Japan and the European Union combined.

It still doesn’t do anything about our egregious national debt or the federal deficit.

Keeping America competitive begins with keeping our economy growing. And our economy grows when Americans have more of their own money to spend, save, and invest. In the last five years, the tax relief you passed has left $880 billion in the hands of American workers, investors, small businesses, and families — and they have used it to help produce more than four years of uninterrupted economic growth.

And how much of that $880 billion has gone to the wealthiest one to two percent in this country? I’d dare say a lot of it has.

Yet the tax relief is set to expire in the next few years. If we do nothing, American families will face a massive tax increase they do not expect and will not welcome.

The wealthy certainly wouldn’t welcome it. But, in my view, they should be paying more than those making only low-to-mid-five figures per year or less. A progressive tax would be much better.

Because America needs more than a temporary expansion, we need more than temporary tax relief. I urge the Congress to act responsibly, and make the tax cuts permanent.

No. Doing so will not benefit low-income families, or even some middle-income ones. Again, don’t make them permanent, but implement a progressive tax so they still don’t have to front most of the bill for everything.

Keeping America competitive requires us to be good stewards of tax dollars. Every year of my presidency, we’ve reduced the growth of non-security discretionary spending, and last year you passed bills that cut this spending. This year my budget will cut it again, and reduce or eliminate more than 140 programs that are performing poorly or not fulfilling essential priorities.

And what programs are those?

By passing these reforms, we will save the American taxpayer another $14 billion next year, and stay on track to cut the deficit in half by 2009.

Riiight. Do you really think that by the time your stay (finally!) ends, the deficit will be sliced in half? Last I knew, it was going up!

The next is on “earmark reform”. Meh. Now for “mandatory spending!”

We must also confront the larger challenge of mandatory spending, or entitlements. This year, the first of about 78 million baby boomers turn 60, including two of my Dad’s favorite people — me and President Clinton. (Laughter.) This milestone is more than a personal crisis — (laughter) — it is a national challenge.

My mother will be 60 next year; my dad turns 65 this year. (She’s unemployed; he still works.)

The retirement of the baby boom generation will put unprecedented strains on the federal government. By 2030, spending for Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid alone will be almost 60 percent of the entire federal budget. And that will present future Congresses with impossible choices — staggering tax increases, immense deficits, or deep cuts in every category of spending.

And the point is…?

Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security — (applause)

Okay, how on earth is not saving Social Security a good thing?

– yet the rising cost of entitlements is a problem that is not going away. (Applause.)

I don’t get why this statement was applauded, either.

And every year we fail to act, the situation gets worse.

I’m surprised there was no applause here. ;)

So tonight, I ask you to join me in creating a commission to examine the full impact of baby boom retirements on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. This commission should include members of Congress of both parties, and offer bipartisan solutions. We need to put aside partisan politics and work together and get this problem solved.

What do you suggest? *crickets*

Okay, moving on! Next section gets into employment, him giving the thumbs-up to immigrant workers (something that probably made Michelle Malkin squirm), which segued into immigration enforcement (which then probably made her jump for joy). Up on deck, health care!

Keeping America competitive requires affordable health care. Our government has a responsibility to provide health care for the poor and the elderly, and we are meeting that responsibility. For all Americans — for all Americans, we must confront the rising cost of care, strengthen the doctor-patient relationship, and help people afford the insurance coverage they need.

How about just working on making health care in general affordable and accessible to everyone–whether they have insurance or not? There are around 45 million USicans without health insurance. Are they going to continue to get screwed over?

After more health care talk, we get to the really good stuff. Energy!

Keeping America competitive requires affordable energy. And here we have a serious problem: America is addicted to oil,

FINALLY! You come right out and say it. “America is addicted to oil…” What took you so long?

which is often imported from unstable parts of the world. The best way to break this addiction is through technology.

Or getting Congress to drill in ANWR.

Since 2001, we have spent nearly $10 billion to develop cleaner, cheaper, and more reliable alternative energy sources — and we are on the threshold of incredible advances.

While that may be all well and good (as is this country already seeming to reduce emissions by more than what was outlined in the Kyoto Protocol), how about pressing car manufacturers to create more fuel-efficient vehicles (which some are doing with the various hybrids that are out these days and whatnot) and creating tougher emissions standards for all vehicles?

So tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy Initiative — a 22-percent increase in clean-energy research — at the Department of Energy, to push for breakthroughs in two vital areas. To change how we power our homes and offices, we will invest more in zero-emission coal-fired plants, revolutionary solar and wind technologies, and clean, safe nuclear energy.

Wind technology is already used in some parts of the world (there is a “wind factory” (if you will) on the northwest coast of Prince Edward Island, Canada; and there’s also another one somewhere in Massachusetts, IIRC…so there’s at least two in North America). Some homes already rely on solar energy.

We must also change how we power our automobiles. We will increase our research in better batteries for hybrid and electric cars, and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen. We’ll also fund additional research in cutting-edge methods of producing ethanol, not just from corn, but from wood chips and stalks, or switch grass. Our goal is to make this new kind of ethanol practical and competitive within six years.

You could also take Jello Biafra’s suggestion from over fifteen years ago: Grow More Pot! Of course, that would involve getting it legalized or decriminalized; and I don’t know if the gub’mint is into that.

Breakthroughs on this and other new technologies will help us reach another great goal: to replace more than 75 percent of our oil imports from the Middle East by 2025.

I bet by growing pot again, it’d probably happen a bit sooner. (Besides, by then I’ll be about to turn (gasp!) 45!)

Then comes education. He’s all about the math and the science. (I guess English, geography, history, and all the other subjects covered in school don’t matter?) Anyway, here’s the meatiest part of that section…

Third, we need to encourage children to take more math and science, and to make sure those courses are rigorous enough to compete with other nations.

When I was in high school, we (by which I mean myself and everyone who was attending my high school between 1994 and 1998–and perhaps even before and since my high school days) had to have three math and three science credits each. I graduated with at least four math (I don’t remember if my accounting classes counted as math or business credits; if they were math credits, then I graduated with six) and five science credits. Totally possible.

We’ve made a good start in the early grades with the No Child Left Behind Act, which is raising standards and lifting test scores across our country.

Meanwhile, the kids are suffering in other areas of education because teachers are forced to teach to the tests instead of teaching what they’re supposed to be teaching. “No Child Left Behind”, indeed. And what, nine states? have come out against the act in the last few years.

Tonight I propose to train 70,000 high school teachers to lead advanced-placement courses in math and science, bring 30,000 math and science professionals to teach in classrooms, and give early help to students who struggle with math, so they have a better chance at good, high-wage jobs.

In a way, I was in “advanced-placement” math courses from seventh grade through high school (when those who seemed to be bound for college were separated from those who were going the more tech-prep route). Science was another story.

Societorial concerns (emphasis mine for this one)…

In recent years, America has become a more hopeful nation. Violent crime rates have fallen to their lowest levels since the 1970s. Welfare cases have dropped by more than half over the past decade. Drug use among youth is down 19 percent since 2001. There are fewer abortions in America than at any point in the last three decades, and the number of children born to teenage mothers has been falling for a dozen years in a row.

Shouldn’t the so-called “pro-lifers” out there have been jumping up and down at this? Especially the first part? (Actually, I think it’s a good thing regardless of one’s stance on the issue, but I digress a wee bit.)

These gains are evidence of a quiet transformation — a revolution of conscience, in which a rising generation is finding that a life of personal responsibility is a life of fulfillment. Government has played a role. Wise policies, such as welfare reform and drug education and support for abstinence and adoption have made a difference in the character of our country. And everyone here tonight, Democrat and Republican, has a right to be proud of this record.

So I’m guessing complete sex education (as in, educating the masses on contraception as well as on abstinence and adoption) didn’t do anything?

Yet many Americans, especially parents, still have deep concerns about the direction of our culture, and the health of our most basic institutions. They’re concerned about unethical conduct by public officials, and discouraged by activist courts that try to redefine marriage.

In regards to the latter, that depends on who you ask.

They worry about children in our society who need direction and love, and about fellow citizens still displaced by natural disaster, and about suffering caused by treatable diseases.

I suppose the middle part is an indirect reference to the citizens of New Orleans and other locales along the Gulf Coast that were effected by Katrina last summer. Why doesn’t he just address them directly? Or is he ashamed to because he believes he is still to blame for the lack of response that occurred in its aftermath? (He is definitely to blame for hiring Michael Brown as head of FEMA. A guy who has absolutely no experience in regards to emergency response. Gah.)

Moving on… There are some shoutouts to the newest justices (John Roberts, the Chief Justice; and Samuel Alito, who’d been confirmed that day…sigh), as well as one to Sandra Day O’Connor, who retired after 24 years on the bench, and who–to some–was its voice of reason.

A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos. Human life is a gift from our Creator — and that gift should never be discarded, devalued or put up for sale.

Tell that to the pimps who sell their prostitutes every night. Tell that to mothers and fathers who abuse their kids or treat them like crap in other ways. If you believe all human life is a gift, then stop singling out embryos and fetuses and start including the 6 billion plus lives that are already on this planet. (That goes out to the staunch so-called “pro-lifers” too.)

Shoutout to “trustworthy” elected officials, now on to some other stuff…

A hopeful society gives special attention to children who lack direction and love. Through the Helping America’s Youth Initiative, we are encouraging caring adults to get involved in the life of a child — and this good work is being led by our First Lady, Laura Bush. This year we will add resources to encourage young people to stay in school, so more of America’s youth can raise their sights and achieve their dreams.

Mmmm…shoutout to the wife! Has that ever happened in a SOTU before? She’s alright. :) Oh, and staying in school is a good thing. At least get through high school!

Finally, we get to NOLA…

A hopeful society comes to the aid of fellow citizens in times of suffering and emergency — and stays at it until they’re back on their feet. So far the federal government has committed $85 billion to the people of the Gulf Coast and New Orleans. We’re removing debris and repairing highways and rebuilding stronger levees. We’re providing business loans and housing assistance. Yet as we meet these immediate needs, we must also address deeper challenges that existed before the storm arrived.

In New Orleans and in other places, many of our fellow citizens have felt excluded from the promise of our country. The answer is not only temporary relief, but schools that teach every child, and job skills that bring upward mobility, and more opportunities to own a home and start a business. As we recover from a disaster, let us also work for the day when all Americans are protected by justice, equal in hope, and rich in opportunity.

Definitely something to work toward.

Yet, unfortunately, NOLA’s environment is not what it was. The air is not clean (and, before Katrina, the air quality was always good); it’s still potentially unsafe. (This info comes from an online acquaintance who lived/worked there and has recently returned.)

The next section is on HIV/AIDS issues within the US, like the renewal of the Ryan White Act (not a bad thing). Then he gets to the closing remarks. I skip to the last full paragraph.

Before history is written down in books, it is written in courage. Like Americans before us, we will show that courage and we will finish well.

One would hope so.

We will lead freedom’s advance.

Doesn’t look like we are at the moment.

We will compete and excel in the global economy.

Hrm.

We will renew the defining moral commitments of this land.

Define “moral commitments”.

And so we move forward — optimistic about our country, faithful to its cause, and confident of the victories to come.

And, eventually, someone will discover Osama Bin Laden’s been hiding in Bubba’s basement down in Georgia or something. Or did he hop a plane back to the desert in Pakistan somewhere? I don’t know.

Of course, GWB ends with “And may God bless America.” Any particular reason why? By the way, I think God is still in the tub.

* * * * *

Side note: In case you didn’t know, or couldn’t figure it out, all OBL references in this post are all tongue-in-cheek and are not to be taken seriously. However, I am seriously baffled by the fact that the fella has eluded capture for over four years and that–to me–no one in the administration seems to give a flying fig about that. That hasn’t changed. *nod*