1. Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in your car? If you do not own a car, what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in the car you most frequently ride in?
Zero percent.

2. Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you will eat ice cream sometime in the next four days?

25%, probably.

3. Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you’ll get a personal, handwritten greeting in the mail sometime in the next week?
Zero percent.

4. Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there will be rain in your neighborhood within the next forty-eight hours?
Given that nature can’t decide whether to be sunny or rainy up my way… 75%.

5. Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that in the next twenty-four hours, you will be in the same room as a naked person other than yourself?
Zero percent!

h/t to Friday5.org